Public Speaking Masterclass

Public Speaking Masterclass

So, this week I was invited down to London to present for Microsoft on the topic of “being a Mum and running a business”.

They asked me to share my top tips for juggling home and business. Specifically, how can a working parent fit it all in to one day?

I’m not sure I’m an expert on the topic by any means but Microsoft had hired a specially decorated Routemaster bus for the occasion, decked out to celebrate the launch of a new cloud-based version of Office for home users. And they’d invited lots of speakers to make presentations about how they use technology in their everyday lives.

A presentation on a bus? How could I say no?

I should also mention the presentation was one of Microsoft’s ‘Ignite’ talks – these are short, 5-minute presentations based on 20 slides, which each display for 15 seconds.

See, you hear something like that and think, “Five minutes? Pfft. No problem.”  I do a lot of public speaking and 5 minutes is pretty short and sweet. No problemo, right? 

Being a typical working parent, I obviously made my presentation at 11pm the night before. And then wrote some notes on the train down to London yesterday morning. I find I’m at my most creative when in a last-minute panic.

So I arrived at Leicester Square at 12pm, ready to get on the bus.

No bus.

Turns out the bus had broken down somewhere near Buckingham Palace and the Microsoft PR team was in full-on crisis mode. Everyone was herded into a hastily-secured pub, only to find the pub couldn’t allow filming, so we were moved to the rather swanky St Martins Hotel instead, which did allow filming.

Now, I don’t do brilliantly being filmed. So I squeaked: “Filming? Pardon? Someone’s filming this?” 

“Not really,” the PR person reassured me. “We’ll be streaming it live on the Internet and then we’ll edit it later and put it online.” 

Oh. That’s better, then.

So, that was the moment I realised I probably should have rehearsed my presentation a bit more. Or at least rehearsed it once.

Still, there were other presenters and they were all nervous, and I was told I was second on the line-up, so at least I’d get to watch someone else suffer first.

We went into the presentation room and I quickly realised who was presenting immediately before me.

Tess Daly.

Tall, glamorous, professional TV presenter Tess Daly.

She was brilliant. All natural smiles in the direction of the camera and off-the-cuff insights into her celebrity life as she shook her perfect highlighted curls. Oh, and she was wearing leather trousers and killer heels.

And I was following that.

I’ve never hated anyone more. (Sorry, Tess)

I was called up to present, and the next five minutes went by in a blur of blind terror – let me tell you, 15 seconds per slide is not enough time to read the stupid, pointless notes. You really do just have to wing it.

And that’s why my presentation kicked off with me calling Gwyneth Paltrow ‘rubbish’ and went on to include references to accidentally punching my child in the face, the importance of quality time with your kids “so you can neglect them later and they won’t mind so much” and – the pinnacle of my public speaking career – urging the audience to go and Google ‘monkey porn’.

Sigh.

But, there’s a silver lining.

Ahead of the presentation, I asked Flea what tips she thought I should pass on for other Mums who work. What did she think I was good at?

“You’re good at computers,” Flea said. “But you’re awesome at love.”

If only I could have stretched that t0 20 slides and five minutes, I think that might have been the perfect presentation right there. But since I couldn’t, here are the tips I did share:

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the MAD Blog Awards and the Tots100, a community of almost 5,000 UK parent blogs. She is also a busy single Mum to Flea, the world's coolest seven year old.

Comments

  1. Oh God I have nearly wet myself laughing! Oh Hell I do feel for you really I do but never stop doing what you are doing it is brilliant!
    Tattie Weasle recently posted..Bringing Up Boys: Cough Cough Cough ek ek ek….My Profile

  2. I love your presentation. I want you to know that since reading the post where you said don’t reply to emails immediately as it makes you too available and invites a conversation whereas a reply is really all that’s needed…. I don’t. And cereal bars are a brilliant idea!
    Midlife Singlemum recently posted..Why Israel ExistsMy Profile

  3. What did people do before cereal bars?
    claire recently posted..Why we love breakfast!My Profile

  4. Sally, as someone who saw you in action, you were brilliant! Very inspirational, with good content even with such little time.
    Monika recently posted..Domestic abuse and raising confident children- is there a link?My Profile

  5. Love the presentation can relate to a lots of points you mentioned. What a nightmare of a day but glad your overcame all the obstacles.
    wendy recently posted..Now Zak Has Found His VoiceMy Profile

  6. Hahaha!!! I bet Tess Daly was googling monkey porn right after your presentation. I remember having to do a presentation straight after a dainty, ladylike woman who did a lot of hair flicking. Of course I lumbered up and somehow managed to knock a glass of water off the stand, then dropped my papers which flew all over the floor. I was so embarrassed I just stood there while some poor man scrambled around picking everything up. Other than that, it was an excellent presentation.
    Jean recently posted..The battered gardenMy Profile

  7. I love d your presentation I bet Tess was sickeningly jealous of your wit and your wisdom. She will have gone away muttering if I were only a bit more like that Sally Whittle…. I was invited to that bus..sorry to have nissed your speech!
    Becky recently posted..Valentine’s Day Craft: Recycled Heart ArtMy Profile

  8. TheBoyandMe says:

    Tess Daly? Holy crap!

    Love your slideshow.

  9. Loving the presentation, but best of all the quote from Flea. It just shows that you are doing something very right! :-)
    MishMashMamma recently posted..Twins doing it Gangnam StyleMy Profile

  10. that was hilarious thank you for writing your painful day in such detail – loved the presentation btw!

  11. I would say poor Gwyneth, but nah – she deserves it!! Nice to know other PR launches don’t always go to plan though, even for MicroSoft tee hee hee :-)

  12. Just stumbled in here for the first time. LOVE your funny post and even more so your 20 slides.
    Bonnie recently posted..Seek and find and doMy Profile

  13. Quite.