The one where I have an epic cosmetics fail.

The one where I have an epic cosmetics fail.

So, a week or two back, Chrissy at Mediocre Mum tagged me in one of those blogging memes. The challenge was to let your child loose on the contents of your make-up bag – and then post the results.

Chrissie tagged me and commented that “there’s no chance she’ll do it”. 

Actually, she was right.

But probably not for the reasons she thought.

Here’s the thing. The picture above? It’s all the make-up I own. My cosmetics basket currently contains:

  • Moisturiser (I have eczema, so peel like mad without this)
  • BB Cream (for meetings)
  • Foundation (for meetings when I’ve been up since 5am and look half-dead)
  • Concealer (because there isn’t a law you can’t get spots when you’re over 25, although there TOTALLY should be)
  • Brown Mascara
  • Clear lip gloss
  • Tinted lip gloss (for when I REALLY want to glam it up, obv)
  • 50SPF children’s Sun cream (I am so fair-skinned I burn like a strip of bacon when exposed to sunlight)
  • Under-eye roller for when concealer won’t cover the under-eye shadows

There you have it.

No eye shadow. No blusher. No lip liner, eye liner, nail polish, fake eye lashes, eyebrow pencils, bronzer, or… – actually those are all the make-up items I can think of.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

But here’s the thing – whatever the bit of the brain is that makes you understand make-up? I don’t have it.

When I try to rationalise why some women get so fixated on make-up, I just can’t. Sure, under-eye concealer and mascara do a great job of hiding tired eyes. Make-up can disguise a blemish, while a dash of lip gloss and mascara stop you looking too washed out in photos. But for the most part, I’m just not sure I’m THAT bothered.

I have a perfectly normal face. I don’t have any scars, or disfiguring marks. I don’t suffer unduly with spots or dark marks. As anonymous commenters occasionally point out with relish, I’m not especially beautiful, but it’s a perfectly good face. It’s expressive and tells the world how I’m feeling (far too clearly, most of the time). So why would I paint over it?  I’d hate to be one of those women who can’t leave the house or look in a mirror without my “face” on.

Besides, there’s an inverse relationship between amount of cosmetics worn and time spent in bed, and on THAT relationship, I’m on the side of those who snooze.

Maybe it’s because I grew up with three older brothers. I don’t see the point of jewellery, either. Actually, ear-rings just creep me out. I can’t look at them for too long without shuddering.

On some level, then, I’ve failed – as a blogger, as a woman, as a Mum. I mean, Lord only knows who’s going to teach Flea about make-up – her teenage experimentation is going to be quite something to behold without the sort of Mum who can show her the ropes, isn’t it?

Can’t wait for THOSE photos. *evil snigger*

[Speaking of Mums, today's the last day to nominate in the Tesco Mum of the Year awards - don't forget to pop over and nominate an inspirational Mum you know. Because make-up or not, there are loads of Mums out there doing brilliant things every day, and they all deserve a pat on the back.] 

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the MAD Blog Awards and the Tots100, a community of almost 5,000 UK parent blogs. She is also a busy single Mum to Flea, the world's coolest seven year old.

Comments

  1. 3 words. Bright. Red. Lipstick.

    1) When your eyes are like vampires, put this on and it detracts.
    2) Takes YEARS off you (not suer on science of that!)
    3) Don’t have to bother with any other make up as everyone focuses on your lips!

    I’ve converted @caroljs (check out her twitter pic) and @mummybarrow

    I *dare* you to give it a go…
    Super Amazing Mum recently posted..Did I ever tell you about my disco cu*t?My Profile

  2. Nicki Cawood says:

    My make up bag….
    1 HUGE pot of E45 (dry skin)
    1 tin of Vaseline (dry lips – also good for taming the eyebrows which currently resemble two hairy caterpillars).

    The only thing my two would make with this lot is a big slippery mess :)
    I like to tell people I prefer the natural look hence why I don’t wear make up. I would never tell them that I am a cack-handed lazy cow who hasn’t the time or patience.

  3. I had to laugh when I was reading your post. I think you are absolutely right, we shouln’t have to be painting over our faces. When I was in my twenties, I used much more make-up than now. Becoming a mum means that most of the time I don’t have time to be putting any make-up on at all. On the other hand, I will be definitely putting some on next Friday ;)))
    Mirka Moore @Kahanka recently posted..Guess what I will be wearing for the MADS 2012 awards!My Profile

  4. Frugal Queen says:

    Agreed, we shouldn’t have to bother but I do. I get my make up from Aldi and swear by it – they have a version of touche elcait that I use round my eyes, some eye liner, mascara and lipstick -

  5. Yes, I can’t live without foundation, concealer, under eye concealer and blusher…and mascara! I envy people who do these nice smokey eyes etc, but I just look….a bit too much with that much make up, so when I put extra make up on on special occasions, I just put EXTRA foundation, concealer, under eye concealer, blusher and mascara on….;)…thanks for a lovely blog!

  6. Sally, I’ve tagged you in my latest post. Would be interested to hear what you have to say on the subject.
    Iota recently posted..The Blue GooseMy Profile

  7. I have the matte mouse in my bag… found it after the MADs