We’re gonna need another supermarket.

Image: Flickr/thinkpanama

I had to stop shopping at our local supermarket when Flea earnestly told one of the check-out staff that “My Mummy says if you don’t have any clean clothes you can just take something out of the laundry basket.”

There was also a teeny, tiny, hardly-worth-mentioning incident involving a digital camera (NOT mine) that contained photos of someone ‘enjoying’ themselves. But that’s a story for another day. Suffice to say, the people working at the first supermarket probably still refer to me as ‘that woman who doesn’t wash and hangs out with perverts’.

Anyway, we switched our allegiance to the second supermarket in our small town.

Yesterday, we were doing a quick grocery shop on the way home, and Flea was helping. She’s just now beginning to be aware of brands and packaging, and she loves to point out the things we have at home as we pass them in the store.

This is a very positive parenting sort of activity. Flea likes to read out packaging to me, and I say things like, “Ooh, well spotted, darling.”

So we were in the pharmacy aisle when I hear a shout from ten feet or so behind me.

“Mummy, we’ve got this in our bathroom!” Flea yells. “Nut-riss?”

Flea is holding up a packet of Garnier Nutrisse hair dye.

“Yes, darling, we do.  It’s Nutrisse. Well spotted,” I reply. I turn away.

Five seconds later, another shout. “We’ve got this too!”

I turn around. The world slows down, somehow.

“DUREX! WE’VE GOT THESE IN OUR BATHROOM, MUMMY!”

I manage to smile encouragingly and make some movement with my eyebrows to suggest, gosh, we really must get on.  Pensioners are staring at me, in horror, presumably wondering what other horrors my small, innocent child is being exposed to.

“EXCEPT OURS IS A BIGGER BOX!”

I’m just waiting for the call from social services.

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She's also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world's coolest ten year old.

35 Comments

  1. 6th August 2010 / 6:18 pm

    Oh yes another priceless comment. This is just perfect!

  2. Nikki
    6th August 2010 / 6:27 pm

    Just brilliant 🙂 It’s things like that which make me appreciate our kids still not being able to read yet pmsl!!!!

  3. S.
    6th August 2010 / 6:32 pm

    I can’t find a suitable ‘lol’ style onomatopeic (sp?) word. fnar, heh, hargh. None are quite adequate.
    Anyway. With your usual style and finesse Sally, that was very funny. :oD

  4. 6th August 2010 / 7:55 pm

    I’ve said it before, and I will doubtless say it again, but Flea is a comedy genius! Gotta love her timing!

  5. francesca
    6th August 2010 / 7:59 pm

    Hahahaha! Brilliant!

  6. 6th August 2010 / 8:35 pm

    Yes, ‘perfect’ was just the word flashing through my mind. That and ‘please let the ground open up’

  7. 6th August 2010 / 8:36 pm

    Lesson I have learned: just because they don’t know what something is doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hide it.

  8. 6th August 2010 / 8:36 pm

    Thanks. I think it needs something like a snort. Perhaps a snarf.

  9. 6th August 2010 / 8:46 pm

    Wahahaa!!!Now that’s the biggest laugh I’ve had all week!!! But rather you than me!!!

  10. 6th August 2010 / 10:31 pm

    That’s the thing with Flea — she knows how to land that killer blow for maximum embarrassment. “Ours is a bigger box!” just tipped things over the edge. 😉
    I can quite see how you’re want to melt into the ground, but really there’s nothing wrong with her knowing you have Durex. It’s just that she could do with knowing not to shout about it in public… Yeah, hiding stuff’s probably a good idea.

  11. 7th August 2010 / 12:25 am

    Laughing out loud at the horrified pensioners that just came to get some Sudocrem. 🙂

  12. 7th August 2010 / 8:45 am

    I am absolutly not laughing at your embarassment *blatent lie!*
    At least it makes my embarassing moments seem small in comparason.

  13. 7th August 2010 / 6:02 pm

    I’d love to tell you parenting gets better.
    My children are making puppets. They just went looking in my sock drawer…
    “It’s an EXERCISE tool!!!” I said loudly. Then died quietly. I already know the 12 year old knows better than that…

  14. Nic's Notebook
    7th August 2010 / 7:57 pm

    OMG hilarious!! Apparently I said to my babysitter when I was small “My mum says you’ve got a big bum” lol… Oh dear…!

  15. 7th August 2010 / 8:31 pm

    Oh no!

  16. Susie
    7th August 2010 / 9:06 pm

    OMG-lmao.

  17. Nikki
    7th August 2010 / 9:16 pm

    Just to add our daughter tonight scenario:
    Phone rings – old uni friend called Shila on the phone telling us she’s got engaged. Jenni shouts out “who is Shila and what colour is she?”
    WTF – these kids – where do they get it from???????????? Totally humilitating. Luckily our friend is brilliant and told us to tell Jenni she’s “chesnut brown”. LOL. Kids!

  18. 8th August 2010 / 11:28 am

    It’s her special talent, I agree. And the Durex are now hidden!

  19. 8th August 2010 / 2:48 pm

    Lucky you needing a big box 😉
    Hehehe…

  20. 8th August 2010 / 4:41 pm

    Well, if it was true then it is excusable as fair comment 😉

  21. 8th August 2010 / 4:42 pm

    That’s what I should have said! Except I just slunk away, mortified

  22. 8th August 2010 / 4:42 pm

    Yeah, it’s been in the bathroom a LONG time, though 😉

  23. 10th August 2010 / 9:11 pm

    Well, it could have been worse I suppose. Then again, I can’t really think of anything worse so will offer you my deepest sympathy. Is there a third supermarket in your town?!

  24. Priness_L_88
    11th August 2010 / 9:00 pm

    I may actually die laughing!

  25. MrsW
    11th August 2010 / 10:10 pm

    Show off!

  26. 14th August 2010 / 5:17 pm

    Sorry for the late comment, had to leave one though as this is brilliant! One of those “YES THANK YOU SHUT UP” moments. Hope you find a suitable alternative supermarket!

  27. 16th August 2010 / 3:59 pm

    Oh no she didn’t!! Are you still beet red from the embarrassment?

  28. 16th August 2010 / 4:01 pm

    Not sure what happened to my comment there! Was just exclaiming that oh no, she didn’t and are you still beet red?

  29. 17th August 2010 / 3:05 pm

    Bwah ha ha! You little vixen you! ;0)

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