When Mummy Bloggers Go Bad.

Sometimes, the blogosphere is a lovely, warm community. Sharing our parenting experiences online, strangers slowly become friends, always there to support each other and give each other a boost just when we need it.

Other times, the blogosphere is evil. To be more specific, Mummy bloggers are evil.

Take Sandy at Baby Baby. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. “Sandy, she’s so lovely and friendly and such a great blogger."

Yeah, that’s just what she wants you to think. That’s how she sucks you in. With all that niceness and the sense of humour and the great writing and stuff. She is shameless.

Let me explain. A week or so ago, Sandy brought her two boys to my house to play with Flea. We all went to the park with a picnic. We had a great time. In fact, Flea was so taken with Presley and Cash that she decided to give them her Likeabike, which she’s outgrown.

A few days later, a parcel arrived for Flea. It contained a gorgeous thankyou card from Presley and Cash and a present – a Transformers Bumblebee toy. To say Flea was excited would be a massive understatement. She’s never had a Transformers toy of her own before but she was very keen to tell me that it’s a robot, and you can make it into a car. OHMYGOODNESS this was the most exciting toy EVER and it had to be transformed RIGHT NOW.

Half an hour later, after introducing Flea to some new words that are certainly not included in the key stage one curriculum , I had produced this: 

CAR

“It’s not really a very good car, is it, Mummy?” said Flea, astutely. “Do you want me to get the instructions?”

“I’ve got the bloody instructions,” I replied, in another sterling example of textbook positive parenting. “I just can’t work it out. Do you want to play with it like this?”

Flea looked at me doubtfully. “No thank you. Can you make it into a car?” 

Flea saw my expression. She saw the writing on the wall. She knew it was a doomed mission. "I know," she announced. "I'll ask Harry!" 

The next day, Flea gave her Transformers toy to Harry, who seamlessly transformed it into a sleek car in about 20 seconds. Then, just to annoy me, with a few flicks of his wrist, it was a robot again. Flea was overjoyed.

At this point I will tell you that Harry? Is my four-year-old nephew. I was in Mensa, for God's sake. And I'm being humiliated by a four-year-old who can't even tie his own shoes yet. And you know who I blame for this? Yes, Sandy Calico, I blame you, you destroyer of dreams.

PS: The card was lovely, though and we hope you'll come for another picnic soon. 

PPS: I really hate Transformers.

Sally & Flea

x

About 

Sally is a full-time blogger and founder of the Tots100, Trips100, Foodies100 and HIBS100 communities, along with the MAD Blog Awards. She spends a bit too much time on the Internet. She’s also a very happy Mum to Flea, the world’s coolest ten year old.

38 Comments

  1. 20th April 2010 / 8:09 am

    Eliza loves this movie and bumble bee too. I also hate toys like this you know the ones that have to usually involv us to help them. But a very nice thank you gift!

  2. 20th April 2010 / 8:10 am

    pmsl, I have avoided transformers for now, I remember them from first time round and couldnt do them then, so there is no hope for me now!

  3. 20th April 2010 / 8:18 am

    Oh that’s hilarious. I’m crying. The ‘car’ reminds me of the stuffed cat in That’s Life. Do you remember? The owners had sent their beloved puss to a ‘taxidermist’ and it came back looking like a cat-monster freak!
    Yay for the internets:



    PS We’d love to come for another picnic x

  4. 20th April 2010 / 8:47 am

    Oh God, I know that one so well! I have passed all transforming monster hell toys on to charity. If anyone gives one to Bonus Boy as a gift I shall send them a piece of flat pack child’s bedroom furniture by return of post!

  5. 20th April 2010 / 8:53 am

    Love it! How many of us have been there & ‘not’ done that. Isn’t it also galling when we end up giving it to a male to do!! Grrr! Must be something in their genes!

  6. 20th April 2010 / 8:55 am

    ha ha, I almost spat out my coffee reading that. Transformers are BRILLIANT, you just have to learn how to love them. I expect there are how to… videos on you tube…

  7. InceyWinceyMummy
    20th April 2010 / 9:10 am

    Oh now I’m dying to have a go at one. Of course, at the moment, I smugly believe I’d manage to transform it just fine, what with me having such a logical mind and all that. Of course, you’d all be having a good laugh at me when the poor toy appeared on eBay just half an hour later.

  8. 20th April 2010 / 9:47 am

    I’m still laughing. I struggle to get the toys out of the ridiculous packaging they come in, god help me when Baby V moves on to more complicated toys like this!

  9. 20th April 2010 / 11:11 am

    My little boy got about six for his birthday…. They are an absolute nightmare aren’t they.
    As soon as you change it into a car he wants it changing back into a robot!!!!
    I feel your pain lol

  10. Mummy from the Heart
    20th April 2010 / 1:06 pm

    Lol, you sucked me in with the title and then gave me a good chuckle! Mich x

  11. Sara
    20th April 2010 / 1:07 pm

    It’s not just you Sally, Jonathan has had a few and they NEVER transform back properly, stupid things.

  12. 20th April 2010 / 1:09 pm

    Ha ha that is very funny, really mad me laugh! xx

  13. Vic
    20th April 2010 / 1:11 pm

    God I hate those things. I’m useless at transforming them and it only gets marginally easier with practice. Then, of course, they start pulling bits off…

  14. 20th April 2010 / 3:57 pm

    Flea’s never even seen the movie or the TV show. She just loves cars and robots. But, yes, it was a lovely gift.

  15. 20th April 2010 / 3:58 pm

    Keep avoiding that aisle in the toy store is my advice.

  16. 20th April 2010 / 3:58 pm

    I LOVED that cat when I was a kid. Thanks for the reminder!

  17. 20th April 2010 / 3:59 pm

    This one will probably find its way to the bottom of the toy box before long.

  18. 20th April 2010 / 3:59 pm

    Especially a four-year-old male. Not good for my ego – at all.

  19. 20th April 2010 / 3:59 pm

    I bet there are. Why didn’t I think of that?

  20. 20th April 2010 / 4:00 pm

    Yep. Let me know how that works out for you 😉

  21. 20th April 2010 / 4:01 pm

    Getting stuck on packaging? Sounds familiar!

  22. 20th April 2010 / 4:01 pm

    I’ll just put her up for adoption. Problem solved.

  23. 20th April 2010 / 4:02 pm

    See, that’s the thing isn’t it? If I work out how to make the wretched car, I just KNOW it will be 20 seconds before she wants it to be a robot again. Argh!

  24. 20th April 2010 / 4:03 pm

    Oh, I already snapped a bit off. It’s in the special kitchen drawer where we keep ALL the broken things.

  25. 20th April 2010 / 4:03 pm

    Arf. Sorry, but that did make me feel a bit better. Thanks x

  26. Abby
    20th April 2010 / 7:58 pm

    Books that have puzzles inside them, now they are REALLY annoying! Try putting the puzzle neatly back inside and closing the book without it all falling out again. Straight to the charidee or car boot!

  27. 20th April 2010 / 8:39 pm

    I think I need to hide my head in shame I love them and happily transform them backwards and forwards. Think of them as executive toys and use them to de-stress…that’s the answer and I am sticking to it as I spent nearly four days trying to do the f****** things right in the first place!!!! Smile and think lovely thoughts!

  28. Heather Davis
    21st April 2010 / 10:24 pm

    Oh god I hear ya! I had years of those bloody transformer toys with my son and hated everyone one of them. They weren’t designed for people who are from Mensa ok so don’t worry. Best to stick with dolls – they are what they are LOL.

  29. Liz (LivingwithKids)
    22nd April 2010 / 8:39 am

    That is SHOCKING. My goodness, I’ve built numerous Transformers, not to mention the Millennium Falcon out of Lego. Did you never have Meccano when you were a kid?!

  30. Beth Goodlife
    22nd April 2010 / 11:37 pm

    Um, can I borrow Harry to help us fix Little Man’s Bumblebee please? I haven’t been able to turn it back into a car since Christmas!

  31. 22nd April 2010 / 11:41 pm

    haha, God, I hated those. Why? Why would anyone make something so completely crap?

  32. 22nd April 2010 / 11:42 pm

    Never darken my virtual door again with your talk of loving Transformers. Tsk.

  33. 22nd April 2010 / 11:43 pm

    I say this with affection and respect: feck off.

  34. 22nd April 2010 / 11:43 pm

    This is what I love about blogging – discovering other parents are just as rubbish at this stuff as me. No offence!

  35. 23rd April 2010 / 5:42 am

    Transformers are only second in line in purgatory to Megazords (from Power Rangers, in case you’ve been fortunate enough to pass these ones bay).

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